An Article For Introverts

Written by Lila Mabanta

Our whole lives we’re often prompted to “break out of our shell”. That the loudest person in the room is the most heard. They say that the world is built for outgoing, extroverted people. Especially the entertainment industry, where a lot of it has to do with who you know. Through these ideas, the idea of being shy, quiet, and introverted is often looked down upon. However, as someone who identifies as an introvert, I’m here to tell you that networking and gaining success in the entertainment industry is not at all impossible. Of course, I’m still a college student, so don’t take me as the guru, but maybe take my advice to some extent if you feel it’s relatable, or you just want to grow more understanding of the quiet people around you.

First things first, it’s important to remind yourself that introversion doesn’t necessarily mean shyness. Being an introvert means that you recharge your mental and social battery through alone time. For example, an introvert’s idea of pure relaxation may be cuddling up with a book rather than a person. It doesn’t require them to also be shy, although it does tend to go hand-in-hand (or at least, more reserved). Shy, meanwhile, encapsulates feeling nervous or timid around other people. The opposite of shyness is outgoingness; the opposite of introversion is extroversion.

Now, let me tell you a little bit about myself. Overall, I consider myself an introvert. As much as I love hanging out with my friends (to which I sometimes consider myself an ambivert), at some point, I feel drained and just need some time to myself. I think the most evident sign of that is my nonnegotiable morning and night routines that I greatly prefer to do alone. Obviously, sharing the bathroom at a sleepover or hanging out every once in a while isn’t torture– I do love spending time with my friends. However, on a regular basis, that time needs to be on my own. I as well can be fully content with spending multiple consecutive days just by myself– that’s my plans for this January break! Now, beyond my introversion, I grew up always being categorized as shy. Now, I don’t believe I ever had social anxiety, but I had a hard time initiating conversations with people I wasn’t close with; even family members. However, I believe throughout my childhood and teenage years, people and events in my life shaped me into a less shy, but still reserved, person. Let me explain what I mean– I’m able to talk to strangers now, keep up a conversation and even show some bits of personality. In class, even though I don’t necessarily enjoy raising my hand to speak, I will if I feel like I should (and feel pretty content with my answer). In group projects, whether academic or work-related, I’ll say as much as I need to get the process moving. In a presentation, I’ll project and liven up my voice as I know it will result in better engagement and grading. In other words, I’m adaptable to what my environment requires of me. If I need to network, I will network. However, that doesn’t mean that I’ll be the loudest in the room, that I’ll always be boisterous with my opinions in a group setting, or that I’ll always initiate the interaction. It doesn’t even mean that these interactions show the full extent of my personality, as I’m not naturally an open book, and pieces of my personality are set for different settings. 

If you’re very outgoing and extroverted, what I just said might not make the most sense to you. However, if you also consider yourself reserved and introverted, you might fully recognize that in yourself too. In my opinion (although biased I suppose), being like that is not a bad thing. Reserved introverts tend to think more before they speak, be more considerate, and be capable of reading the room to know what’s appropriate. Of course, everything needs balance– not everyone can or should be like that. But, I think being introverted, reserved, or shy, should stop being seen as a flaw, as it's something just as ingrained in us as our sense of humor or personality. 

Focusing back on the entertainment industry, I’ve had great opportunities, even if I’m not necessarily everyone’s best friend or telling you all my darkest secrets (which is not bad either, it’s just not who I am). However, because my personality can be more reserved in professional settings like interviews, networking, and presentations, it can still be quite daunting, but doable. I think it’s important to find a balance in yourself, where you know the parts of your personality and communication that are required for those settings to do a good job. If you don’t build these professional interactions up so much, and just treat it as something simply as necessary as ordering food from a waiter, you can start to casualize it in your head. If networking is your ultimate nightmare, where you feel you have trouble presenting yourself in the way you truly are, check out this article by the New York Times, “Good News for Young Strivers: Networking is Overrated”. The article essentially says that successful networking is not schmoozing up to people and connecting with as many people as possible, but instead accomplishing things on your own. The article argues, “My students often believe that if they simply meet more important people their work will improve. But it’s remarkably hard to engage with those people unless you’ve already put something valuable out into the world...Achievements show you have something to give, not just something to take”. Thus, it’s often more important to develop your own skills and become valuable, than simply trying to meet anyone and everyone, to make long-lasting, full connections.

So, if you’re a reserved introverted person like me, hopefully, this has given you more hope of success within the entertainment industry. You don’t need to be the loudest in the room to stick out, and that shouldn’t make you feel like you’re lacking or flawed. Focus on yourself and what you can do in the social personality you naturally have. You don’t need to change yourself to succeed.

Be Well,

Lila