Energy Vampires: Recognizing Them & Preserving Your Energy
Written by Michelle Manis
Olivia Rodrigo’s new hit, “Vampire” describes energy vampires to a T: people who do not have your best interest at heart, often those who just want to use you for personal gain or keep you down who sink your teeth into, suck you dry, and leave you feeling empty. However, energy vampires can be so much more than just people. For instance, mundane and repetitive tasks, things we procrastinate on, and ultimately what leaves us feeling unfulfilled can all be energy vampires to our spirit as well. While one may feel that the best way to preserve and protect your energy is to purge these people and drain forces from your life, unfortunately, that’s often not possible to do entirely. Especially if this energy vampire is a family member, someone you have to work with, or something you have to do for yourself (my accounting requirement to graduate, I’m looking at you) or someone who relies on you. So the next time you hear “girl just block” or “don’t look back,” say “GIRL it’s not that simple, but I have a plan…”
Before we get into how to protect yourself from energy vampires, let’s go over how to recognise one. Manipulative behavior, boasting, having a big ego, criticizing, narcissistic traits, and complaining are just some of the traits an energy vampire may possess. For energy draining tasks, you might feel bored, uninspired, lack motivation to continue, or feel like you’re constantly exerting too much force to complete the task. It is key here to make sure you’re checking in with yourself and listening to your intuition to see whether or not your body feels safe and comfortable around the suspected energy vampire. Personal anecdote time: I remember when I used to be around people who ended up revealing their true colors–whether they’ve lied to me or took advantage of how much I give and how much I show love–I’d get chills every time I’d think about them or think about my future with them. Spiritually, this energy rush can serve as a warning from your innermost knowing, or your higher self, that this person is not who they say they are. That’s not to say all chills are bad chills, but I invite you to pay attention to what feeling is a warning and what is just excitement.
A great exercise to explore and understand your intuition deeper is to first sit criss-cross, close your eyes and get into a meditative state. Next step is called “feeling your yes,” which involves thinking or saying “yes, yes, yes…” out loud and observing the sensation in your body. It helps to think of things that are your yes, whether that be something you love doing or someone you’re inspired by, for example. Once you’ve noted what your “yes” feels like in the body, take a few breaths and then “feel your no.” Repeat the word “no” in your mind or out loud and see how your body reacts. Often people will feel their “no” as a sinking feeling in their gut and feel much lower, as opposed to a light energetic “yes" feeling higher in the body. In the end, when you feel your intuition is warning you, BELIEVE it. Last summer I was around a group of people I’d constantly feel out of place with. When I’d go over their house, something would just not feel right, although I couldn’t place what was wrong. After finding out that these people were “lower vibrational,” ones that complained, bullied, talked ill of their friends behind their back, and thought ill of me, I learned to trust my gut and first impression of someone. In the end, standing by yourself is one of the biggest ways we can protect our energy.
If you’re still unsure if someone is an energy drainer, ask yourself these questions: does this person appreciate me? Genuinely care for me? Celebrate my success? Want to see me succeed? Make me feel enough? Does my nervous system feel safe around them? If I get butterflies or a stomach drop? Is this my intuition giving me a warning? If it’s a task, ask: do I feel like my soul is fulfilled? Is this in alignment with my highest purpose? And if you still have to complete the draining task: can I make any changes to prioritize my well being, rest, and happiness while getting this done?
Luckily, there’s ways beside blocking and ridding your life of all energy vampires that can provide relief and protection. If this energy vampire is a family member, consider taking space, or keeping the conversations light. Sometimes the more information we give and the more we engage can put us at risk of an energy draining argument. See your mean in-laws at an event? Talk only about the positive. They make a joke trying to put you down? Smile, say nothing, and walk away. Remember that protecting your energy also comes from your responsibility to remove yourself from unwanted scenarios, make healthy decisions, and not letting what energy vampires say get to you. The biggest way to achieve this is through working on your self concept, knowing who you are, and letting the negative roll off. And when all else fails, heal with some energy givers: soak up some sun, cuddle with pets, focus on the future, exercise, get outside, do something you love, and spend time with the people you feel free with.
I invite you now to affirm with me:
If it drains you, it’s not for you.
My energy is sacred, I protect it accordingly.
My time is precious, I respect it.
My energy is protected, outside influences cannot impact me.
I take care of myself and my energy.
Be well,
Michelle
