How To Spend Time Alone

Written by Lila Mabanta

For everyone in college, you’re most likely still in or finishing up winter break. Winter breaks look different for everyone–vacations, working, living at home, or living in your (now quiet) college living space. As a college student who was extremely busy this past fall semester, my goal for the majority of January’s break was to spend it in my college NYC apartment alone, as my roommate and most of my friends were in their hometowns. So, my plan was finally to live out my biggest introvert dreams, by having a few weeks of slow, low-responsibilities, alone time.

Now, of course, I wasn’t fully a hermit. I still ended up going out and hanging out with a bunch of people (however now I have COVID, so maybe I should’ve been a bigger hermit). But I still got a good share of alone time as well. Depending on who you are and how you identify on the introvert to extrovert spectrum, this may also sound like a dream, or nightmare, to you. Either way, here are some of the ways I spent non-boring time with myself, which aided in a much-needed new year reset.

First of all, books, not surprisingly, were a very good friend of mine this month. Lucky for me, my roommate and I have a shared bookshelf in our living room where we both keep some of our books. Resultantly, it’s like a mini library for each other! I read the romance novel Happy Place by Emily Henry over the span of 3 or 4 nights, accompanied by a Berry Clementine scented candle, LED mood lights, and my lovely velvet green couch. Honestly, contemporary romance books are not my usual style, I’m big into fantasy series, but this book was very refreshing and felt like a brain reset before the rest of the year’s reading. Next, I got the Barnes & Noble exclusive version of Holly Black’s The Stolen Heir (after the Tribeca Barnes & Noble’s massive store-closing sale), so I read the bonus chapter of the author’s and editor’s annotations while drafting the novel, which was so interesting. I wish I squeezed in a few more books, but that leads us to our next point…

TV! During the semester I often don’t have time to binge-watch any series. For about a year I’ve been wanting to watch Apple TV’s show Shrinking starring Jason Segel and Harrison Ford. As the episodes were only about a half hour each, I finally got to it. Many of my nights I spent watching this series, which was really enjoyable and relaxing. I also watched a few movies, including (cue the 2014 vibes) The Fault In Our Stars, which was a tween cult classic for me. Watching it now, having not seen or read it in years, but still remembering all of the quotes, was extremely cathartic and gave a great, hysterical cry. 

Spending time alone was also the perfect time to work on things I’ve been putting off for ages. For example, there was an Episode Interactive story I began writing about 6 years ago in high school (yes, this is embarrassing, but it was a sign of the times). I was very dedicated to it at the time, and I loved writing it, but as life got in the way and I grew busier in college, it was the last thing on my list of priorities to finish. During this break, with a push from my best friend, I decided to finish it with the free time I had. Even though it was about 6 years and probably long forgotten by any of its readers, I dedicated time to finishing its last chapter, and I felt very proud of myself. I had finally finished something I had wanted to accomplish, and it was very fulfilling.

For another almost daunting task: one of my Christmas gifts was a puzzle, a pretty big puzzle at that. Honestly, I probably haven’t done a puzzle in over a decade, but I decided this was another thing I wanted to do over break. Now, I have to be honest, I’m still working on it. But it’s been a fun new hobby and it’s pretty satisfying to see all the pieces come together. I like to pair this up with a podcast or show that I don’t need to spend the most attention on visually. For me, at least, it’s also important to not set strict expectations on it, such as forcing myself to finish it within one sitting, because then it can become stressful. Instead, I’ve allowed myself to spend an hour or two on it over the weeks, so there’s no too much pressure on it.

Lastly, before we entered into New York’s snowstorm era, I told myself I needed to get outside at least once a day. If that wasn’t in the form of going to museums, stores or meeting up with friends, it was through going on a walk and listening to new music or my favorite podcast (Book Talk for BookTok – I love you). I moved to the Upper East Side this past August. However, I felt like I still hadn’t had the chance to really explore it during the semester. So, I took myself on walks throughout it, varying on my mood whether to go north, south, to the park, or to the water. Sometimes, this also was in the form of deciding to walk back and forth from my destination instead of taking the subway. This was my source of exercise, fresh air, and almost a detox from interacting with anyone else on my phone. I hope to keep this habit going onto the weekends throughout this semester. For me at least, going on mindless walks is what reinvigorates my love for where I live, which can easily be forgotten when cramped up doing so many other things.

So, maybe you yourself incorporated some of these activities into your alone time, or maybe this is the inspiration for your future alone time! Whether you’re particularly an introvert or not, I think at least one of these activities is enjoyable and achievable. Spending time with loved ones is crucial to our wellbeing, but it’s also crucial to spend time with who should be your greatest loved one– yourself. We always talk about prioritizing yourself, but sometimes that can simply be in the way of doing things you like, alone.

Be Well,

Lila