2023 Wrap Up: Key Takeaways of the Year
Written by Audrey Hayward
Across social media I’ve seen a ton of posts discussing topics like “Habits I’m taking into 2024” and “How to glow up in 2024”. Whether it’s a podcast filled with things people have loved this year, or a TikTok of routines, I can’t help but get frustrated every time a product is brought up. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good recommendation. Whether it’s haircare, makeup, a new workout, I will try it out. But, in this day of extreme overconsumption and ads everywhere, I wanted this article to be a bit of fresh air for you all.
Throughout 2023 I went through a lot of change. From graduating college and entering the real world, to changing career paths and moving to a new state, this year brought a lot of uncertainty. Whether this past year has brought massive change or not in your life, I hope this list inspires you to think of all of the things you’ve accomplished and learned this past year. Let’s start the new year off well, by investing in your own personal well-th.
Go for your passions without hesitation
Explore your interests and hobbies! Genuinely, if you don’t try, you will never know. Take that acting class, grab a sketchbook from Michaels, and sign up for that rock climbing lesson. Not only will you possibly find a new way to enjoy life, but you’ll also learn that experimenting with new things isn’t something to be afraid of, but excited for.
When I was younger, my mom made my sister and I try every sport and activity. And I mean every single thing. Karate, music lessons (instruments and singing), pottery, dance, (ballet, hip-hop, and tap-because how would we know with only one type?!) horseback riding, basketball, acting; you name it… we did it. As much as I disliked it as a child, I couldn’t be more grateful to her for making us put ourselves out there. I can genuinely say I have tried it and know for myself, that I might be the worst singer ever. But without lessons and trying, I would’ve always wondered when someone would discover me through my incredibly tone-deaf shower concerts.
This past year I started to take myself more seriously and my interests. I have always had a love for homemade looking menus and greeting cards and decided to make invitations and menus for my birthday dinner for fun. I had such a great time doing it, I started drawing and creating illustrations in my free time. Soon after, friends and family started asking me to create custom birthday and anniversary cards, and eventually, people began to pay for my pre-made and custom designs. As I began to dive deeper into my creative passions, I made an effort to bake more and come up with my own recipes, something that provides me with peace. To my surprise, I actually had people prefer my recipe to the original. At the end of the day, you’ll never know if you don’t try (as corny as that is, it’s so true). Don’t be afraid to fail because regretting and wondering “what if” will always trump failure every time.
2. Invest in your own lifestyle
Right now there are so many “should's'”: what you should be buying, what habits you should have, what exercise you should be doing, or what you should be dressing like. Growing up watching monthly favorites hauls on YouTube and makeup tutorials, this was all routine to me. However, in the spirit of de-influencing, I’m here to say that the only thing you “should '' do is what you WANT to do. It’s so easy to fall down the TikTok rabbit hole of morning routines and day in the life videos, and feel like that’s what you “should”' be doing. Getting inspiration and advice from others is great, but really notice what makes you feel good, what personal goals you have, what excites you, and write it down.
A goal of mine this past year was to really try to find my personal style and invest in items that speak to me. Just like every other post-grad girl, the overflowing drawer of trendy going-out tops is no longer the treasure chest it used to be. Of course I looked to Pinterest for inspiration as well as my favorite TikTok fashion girlies, but I began to slowly be able to piece together outfits and understand what makes me feel good and confident. I can now say that picking out outfits for me is now something I’m decisive about (it used to take me at least 30 minutes to pick out something to wear) because I’m confident in my wardrobe and my stylistic choices.
Beyond clothes, I made an effort to notice what products I actually use consistently, what perfume makes me feel pretty (yes, I fell victim to Replica’s “Beach Walk” because of the perfume influencers), what movement makes me feel strong, and what hobbies fulfill me creatively. Surprisingly, I do just fine without a Hatch alarm clock or Charlotte Tilbury bronzer. No one is living your life except for you, so do the things and invest in the items and experiences that make your life exciting and fulfilling.
3. Mental health over media overdose
During my first meeting with my therapist this year I was bragging about my self-care routine (how can there be anything wrong with me… I’m doing everything I can, right?!), which I thought could only be helping me, part of which included a “mental health” walk. After a few more sessions my therapist pointed out to me that my walks never consisted of any actual reflection, in fact, I never even allowed myself to be alone with my thoughts. Whether it was a podcast, music, or a phone call, I was never without distraction. She challenged me to go on my “mental health” walk but without any distractions, because if it’s supposed to be a walk to better my mental health, shouldn’t that consist of me actually focusing on myself? I won’t lie to you all, it was hard at first. What was I supposed to do for that hour? Won’t I get bored? It took me a few times walking without distractions to realize that consumption and constant stimulation of media became addictive for me. As much as I love TikTok and scrolling endlessly, it truly took over my life and caused me to get lost in other people’s lives, and not live my own. The main thing I learned to do was make an agreement with myself to lessen my consumption and constant stimulation, and actually designate time for real mental health activities.
4. Everyone’s path is unique
Personally for me, this has been a big one. It’s so easy to compare when everything we see online is other people's glorified lives. Negative thoughts pop up like “Why not me?” or “What am I doing wrong?”. Whether it’s to influencers or simply just people you went to highschool with, comparing yourself is something we do constantly and sometimes don’t even realize we are. Something I always reminded myself of when I felt a little down was when my pro bono therapist (my big sister) told me that everyone has a different life path, with different timing. There were times when I had a big group of friends and she didn’t, there were times when she had success in her career and I didn’t, and there were times when she was going through a breakup and I was getting into a relationship. Just like internet culture and cancel culture, everyone experiences highs and lows, whether you see them or not. Someone could be gaining fame while someone else is losing it. Remind yourself that you’re on your own journey, which will be filled with endless amounts of fabulous ups and some silly downs. Even though the downs are never really wanted, they’re the reason the outcome feels so good. Because without the journey, the outcome would have no meaning. Allow yourself to just live your life and understand that things will happen when they're supposed to. Life is beautiful: the ups, the downs, all of it.
5. Sometimes it’s ok to not put expectations on yourself
There’s a ton of language thrown around of “glowing up” and this manicured version of self-care and who we are supposed to be. But in all reality, it’s okay to be tired and order dinner in, it’s okay to be messy and sleep in more than you “should”, and it’s okay to drink a little bit too much and wake up with your makeup on. Life isn’t perfect, allow yourself imperfections and give yourself grace. Life is supposed to be silly and fun, not a structured clean routine. Having goals and expectations are so important, but don’t let them make you feel like you’re doing something wrong if you aren’t waking up at six every morning and working out.
Despite what it may seem like, there is no perfect way to live or a secret rulebook to life, and everyone around you (mostly) is figuring it out as they go. Remember that we’re all on our own timelines and that there are no rules that determine where you should or should not be in life by a certain age. Embrace whatever era you are in and remember that life is supposed to be fun!
Celebrate the new year, celebrate yourself, and celebrate life!
Be well,
Audrey
