What reading brings out in us
Written By: Yelena Mongbet
I used to absolutely hate reading. I remember when my dad would take my sister and me to the library or Barnes & Noble so we could look at books. My sister would float around, looking at different genres, asking librarians questions, and just being overall excited. I was always so confused as to why or how she found books so captivating, while I saw reading as something I was forced into doing. However, flash forward to years later, and I find it to be one of my favorite hobbies. I also feel like being in my twenties is such a pivotal time of growth, where I often see people my age and older searching for answers or some form of truth. The answers may not always be found in a book (though some may disagree), but books can offer us new perspectives, great escapes, and opportunities for reflection. I think through that reflection lie our answers. Not only because every time you pick up a new book, you read about someone’s story or learn something new, but also because in a very real way, reading teaches you something new about yourself. Whether it’s how you perceive a situation, a self-help book aimed at helping you break old habits or even a kids' book that we read in silly voices—books bring out something that makes us innately more human.
Return to Self
I think that when we read a book, part of us returns to our childlike self. Books started with our parents teaching us about how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. As we got older, we found ourselves assigned books in school to read for the week at home. Many of those books included action and adventure or historical information that would serve us well in the long run. Either way, when we read something we truly enjoy, we dive into it. It reflects our childlike self because, between the lines of a book, there is space for imagination. Whether it’s visualizing a time before we were alive, imagining how concepts from the book might apply to our lives, or just fantasizing over a romantic novel, books allow us to return to an integral part of our childlike self: the beauty of wonder. As we grow older, particularly in our twenties, we still have wonder, but it often shifts toward anxieties about our future rather than the majestic kind of wonder we should always carry. Books offer an escape through storytelling while allowing our imagination to roam free. I am currently reading All About Love by Bell Hooks, a work that explores how we love, why we love, and how the various forms of love we have received, given, or even lacked shape us as people. As I read her reflections, woven with personal experience, I can’t help but relate to so much of what she shares. Most recently, she spoke about how love and abuse cannot coexist, no matter the source. She explains that authority figures or loved ones may cross boundaries or even act abusively but justify it with phrases like, “I did this because I love you,” or “I’m sorry; I just wanted to protect you.” Hooks reminds us that people cannot do harmful things “out of love.”
This insight made me think about the sensitivity surrounding the word abuse and how people often avoid using it, especially those who experience it. Here is the definition of abuse: to use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. Abuse doesn’t need to be extreme to qualify as abuse. In this case, we’re talking about the misuse of love—how people justify abusive tendencies as real love when, ultimately, the two cannot coexist. Love, in its purest form, isn’t masked by anything. Reflecting on this, I’ve started to question the definitions of love I’ve held onto, how they appear in my life, and how, as a society, we may need to relearn what love truly is and how to show it. This has also forced me to return to my childlike self and look at what she deserves and wants out of life. It’s an amazing source of energy to push to continue to give myself the best and never settle. For me, love is the most powerful force on earth.
Ultimately, books give us something that the media cannot. We learn so much from stories; as we walk with characters through their lives and worlds, we discover new lessons, values, and ideas. Books introduce us to new languages and experiences, sparking fresh ways of thinking and breaking down the rigid walls of our personal viewpoints.
Books Make Us More Human
Raymond Mar, a psychologist at York University in Canada, and Keith Oatley, a professor of cognitive psychology at the University of Toronto, conducted a study titled “How Reading Makes Us More Human.” Their findings suggest that those who often read fiction are better able to understand other people, empathize with them, and see the world from their perspective. As human beings, we are drawn to narratives. Storytelling is central to human existence, shaping our vision of the world and equipping us with tools to make meaning of our experiences. As the writer Joyce Carol Oates famously said, “Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” Regardless of genre, books offer many gifts, but the gift of reflection is undoubtedly the most profound.
