Building a Better Life: Daily Habits That Foster Wellness and Resilience
Written By Gabi King Fernandez
As both a coach and a 30 year old woman who is trying to navigate the ups and downs of adulthood, it’s mandatory that I keep my mental health in check. There are a lot of things I do on a daily basis that have become non-negotiables for me. If I’m doing everything in my power to feel my very best, then I don’t stress when things out of my control go wrong. The following habits have truly transformed my life over the years, improving my health, wellness, happiness and relationships.
Did you know that implementing healthy habits such as exercise, meditation, nutritious eating and getting outside have been proven to be 1.5 times more effective at reducing depression, stress and anxiety than any medication or cognitive therapy? As someone who has implemented these habits into my lifestyle over the past 8 years, I can say this is absolutely true. Your lifestyle makes a HUGE impact on your mental health. I know a lot of people with depression and a lot of people who are happy, and I can tell you none of my friends who struggle from depression are exercising, meditating and eating nutritiously on a regular basis. I can say the happier people, myself included, are.
Of course there is also situational depression, which occurs based on traumatic life events such as tragedy and loss. However, I took an online course offered by Yale, called “The Science of Well-Being”, where they did multiple studies and discovered that 50% of someone’s happiness is genetic, 40% is controllable based on your habits, and only 10% is due to life circumstances.
40% being controllable based on habits is amazing because this means that you have control over almost half of the factors that contribute to your overall happiness! This means you can become a happier person just by practicing things such as mindfulness, gratitude, increasing your social interaction and being present in the current moment. You have control of your life, so do what you need to be happy!
This 10% is also comforting because it means that if something traumatic happens to you, you are able to adapt and recover from it way quicker than you think. They claim that after the first 2-6 months, your happiness levels are usually able to bounce back to where they were before that traumatic event happened. This is not to undermine how painful and difficult whatever you went through may have been - I know because I can relate.
As someone who has experienced an immense amount of trauma and loss all before the age of 30, I can vouch that these statistics feel true to me. I lost my dad, then my last living grandparent, then my mom all in my 20’s, and lived in a state of anxiety and trauma for much of that time. I’m human, and while I’m still working through a lot of this grief and trauma, I also do everything in my power to feel my best because it’s necessary for my survival. Literally. I’m not telling you this because I want sympathy or to make you feel a certain way. I’m telling you because if I can go through severe loss and trauma and still stick to healthy habits that make me feel happier, healthier and all around better in my day to day life, then they can have a huge impact on your life too, regardless of what you’re going through.
Here’s a glimpse into my routine, and the habits that strongly contribute to me being a naturally positive and happy person.
First thing in the morning, I go on a walk outside. I’ll usually walk 2 or 3 miles, nothing too crazy, but even a 10 minute walk down the street and back is a mood booster if you don’t have time for a long walk. There's also something about getting direct sunlight on your face first thing in the morning that helps regulate your circadian rhythm, and just feels so good! If I’m having the absolute worst day possible, and I get outside for a quick walk, I instantly feel at least somewhat better. It’s really that simple. Even when I worked in an office, I would often eat lunch at my desk and then walk for 30 minutes around the office building over my lunch break. There is always time.
Then I will make breakfast, which usually consists of turkey bacon, avocado and eggs. Protein is extremely important first thing in the morning (especially for women) to get our metabolisms going. Additionally, I grocery shop and cook healthy, nutritious meals for myself. This usually consists of either rice or potatoes, with either chicken, turkey or fish, and a vegetable such as broccoli or brussel sprouts. I like to keep it simple because when I get the same things at the grocery store every time it’s quick, and I can whip up a healthy dinner easily.
I’ve never been one to eat fast food or processed foods because they make me feel horrible. There have been times where I’m traveling and in the middle of nowhere, or have gone out with friends and the only option for food has been pizza or fast food, and I always feel sick after. That’s what happens when your body is used to eating foods that serve you! I understand how difficult changing your diet can be, because I made the conscious choice to do this years ago. I can tell you how much better I feel when I eat natural and organic foods that actually come from the earth. If the thought of this seems overwhelming or nearly impossible, I encourage you to do one thing: start reading the ingredients on food labels, and learning what these ingredients actually are. I can promise that alone will make you want to eliminate certain things from your diet!
After breakfast, I make matcha, which became my replacement for coffee 2 years ago. When my mom was first diagnosed with terminal cancer, I felt like coffee made my heart race and gave me added anxiety that I could no longer handle. While eliminating coffee was very difficult for the first few weeks, it was such a great decision for me. Coffee gave me a caffeine rush and then a hard crash not too long after, and matcha gives me a consistent calmer energy throughout the day. I’m not saying this is the right decision for everyone, but I do think caffeine usage is abused among many people in our society and the corporate world today. Consuming an excess of caffeine can make stress and anxiety worse, so I do think finding a healthy balance, depending on what works for your body, is important.
While we’re on the topic of consumption, it’s worth mentioning how much drinking alcohol affects mental health. I used to drink a lot in my early 20s and it did not serve me well. I was always tired and never getting proper sleep, which made me feel groggy, on edge and anxious the day after. Most people reading this understand that feeling. I’m not saying drinking here and there is bad. I like to enjoy a drink or 2 sometimes. I even think that letting loose and having a few drinks here and there can be a good thing, and can be necessary for your soul and your mental health too! It’s about balance and not going overboard. I used to go out and drink way too much and then waste away in bed the next day feeling sick and anxious. I hated that feeling. Now, I can have 2 or 3 drinks throughout the night and still wake up feeling good.
I also exercise typically 3 or 4 times a week, in addition to my daily walks. I get bored easily and like a variety of workouts. Over the years I have done boxing, yoga, pilates, weight training and beach volleyball. The workout I do just depends on how I’m feeling! There’s a misconception that working out has to take hours out of your day and costs a lot of money. That’s not true. I have been doing youtube workouts at home for years and I swear by them. Even if I only have 20 or 30 minutes to do a quick workout that day, it’s better than nothing! We live in a time where there are unlimited resources and workouts online for free, so use that to your advantage.
Meditation is a very important part of my routine. I know the sound of it intimidates a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be that time consuming or difficult. I also change my meditation style, depending on what I’m feeling and what is going on in my life. For example I used to wake up and write what I’m grateful for in a gratitude journal for 5 minutes every day. Now I’m more disciplined, and have trained myself to list off everything I’m grateful for first thing in the morning, before even opening my eyes. This helps me start my day off on a positive note and puts a smile on my face before getting out of bed. Once I get in bed and close my eyes at night, I think of everything I’m grateful for that happened that day to bring positive energy into my subconscious mind as I sleep and dream.
I also love the headspace app, Spotify and Youtube meditations. There are so many 5 or 10 minute meditations out there that you can listen to anytime of day, when you need a reset. I recommend digging around and finding some that work for you.
I write down positive affirmations in the notes app on my phone, and repeat statements that I want to affirm to myself when brushing my teeth, or doing things around the house. If you don’t think you have the time or discipline for affirmations, I encourage you to look up some on Youtube. There are plenty of 10 minute positive affirmation videos that you can listen to on your way to work or when you’re getting dressed in the morning.
Breathwork is one of my favorite mindfulness techniques because it is quick and you can do it from anywhere! Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, I suggest pausing for a minute to take 5 deep breaths. You can do this for as long as you want, but no one can tell me they don’t have 1 minute to take a few deep breaths! It regulates your nervous system and instantly calms you down. A technique I love is called 4 square breathing. You take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, and breath out through your mouth, with a sign, for 4 seconds. I do this every day, multiple times a day. Always first thing in the morning and last thing at night before bed.
As a coach, I help my clients discover and implement some variation of these habits into their daily routines. Everyone is different so what works for me may not be what works for my clients. Through asking thoughtful questions and getting to know them on a deeper level, we are able to work together to create a plan that works for them. As a coach, I help them set small daily and weekly goals, and hold them accountable to follow through.
It’s important to remember that lifestyle changes don’t happen overnight. It took me years to achieve a place of contentment, where I feel happy and satisfied with my healthy habits, and it takes a daily commitment to one step at a time. If all of this sounds overwhelming to you, I encourage you to break it into small goals. Choose 1 thing that you will spend even just 5 or 10 minutes implementing a few times a week. Once you have been consistent with that for a few weeks and it feels like routine, add something else you want to try.
Give yourself a reasonable timeline. Nothing will change overnight. Give yourself 6 months to a year before you expect to see any serious changes in habits or feelings. A huge factor in why I think I have good mental health is because I am not too hard on myself. That is key. I love myself and I talk to myself in encouraging ways. If I don’t do something one day, I don’t beat myself up about it. I just get up the next day and try again. I always know I can do it, and I always know that my goals are achievable. Your’s are too! Be patient, be loving and be kind with yourself. If you are committed, you will get there eventually!
Be Well,
Gabi
