The Small Ways You Can Spread Love & Kindness
Written by Lila Mabanta
February, as we know, is naturally associated with love. Valentine’s Day can be quite a controversial holiday– a pull and tug between single people hating on couples, and couples expecting lots and lots from each other. I personally love Valentine’s Day, both in a romantic way and not. I love the aesthetics of it… who doesn’t love some red and pink hearts every so often? And, importantly, love isn’t just romantic. It’s so much more, and it’s present in everything. Especially in friendship and family. But love doesn't even necessarily need to be in an “I love you” type of way. Or in a grand gesture type of way (however, I do think we need more romantic grand gestures in real life, not just in rom-coms). Overall, love in its purest, simplest form, is spreading it, with kindness, to others.
As already mentioned, love is found in so many different forms. Whether it’s to your friends or strangers, one of the simplest ways to spread love and kindness is through expressing gratitude. This could be as simple as giving someone a smile of acknowledgment after they’ve held a door open, or pushed open on the elevator. This could be through giving the driver a wave when they’ve allowed you to cross in front of them (it’s just a habit at this point– I can’t help it… even if they didn’t technically want me to). Giving and receiving simple signs of gratitude builds a sense of community, which as humans, we all fundamentally love and need. So, we might as well show it!
Helping someone out, even if you don’t necessarily need to, spreads love. Again, whether it's a stranger, friend, roommate, or more, taking the time out of your day to help someone with something (up to your own boundaries, of course), is something they’ll remember, and greatly appreciate. The first time I traveled to London (and with that, my first major city outside the US), I was with my mom and we were trying to navigate their metro system with our giant roller luggages. A worker had told us what station to transfer to, but with the aftermath of an overnight flight and being in a new city for the first time, we didn’t remember what station they said (and it was one of those times I forgot my phone’s GPS existed). I was embarrassed and frustrated, appearing like stereotypical clueless Americans, but a Londoner noticed our confusion and helped us out. He told us exactly what station to get off to, and helped us with our luggage when stepping off the tube. He 100% didn’t need to do that, and again, I was embarrassed to be us, but he greeted us with such kindness and welcome. That’s a moment I haven’t forgotten. So, no, helping someone out, especially a stranger, isn’t something you need to do, but it can be so impactful and resonating to someone to be treated with kindness, and completely uplift your spirits and general feeling of love.
Spreading love can also be simply shown through reaching out. The older we get, the harder it becomes to stay in contact with people, friends and family alike. Reaching out, through texting, calling, or even just interacting on social media when you aren’t physically together can honestly make or break a friendship specifically. Of course, every situation and relationship is different, but I’ll say I feel the greatest love from the people that I know make an effort to stay in touch with me, and likewise. For example, as a college senior, I still have a strong group chat with my three hometown best friends. We all understand that we’re all very busy in our own lives, but we all make the effort to update each other on our days or career prospects or problems, and when we can, we often try to hang out in person. Also, lately, my sister has been calling me, which is a newfound development in our relationship, and I already feel closer to her. This doesn’t mean that low-maintenance relationships aren’t important as well; you should understand what the necessary balance is for each relationship you’re in. But, simply interacting with someone on a somewhat regular basis helps keep that love alive and reciprocated. Friendships, especially, need reciprocation in some form. Even if it’s not a daily group chat, texting a friend you haven’t seen in a while, “How are you?”, or a TikTok that reminds you of them, helps keep that relationship alive and reinstates the feeling of love and appreciation between the people. I know it sounds quite obvious, but it’s very easy to forget.
As easy and duh-like as it sounds, truly listening to someone is, as well, a simple and profound way of spreading love. If someone is telling you something, showing that you care about what they are saying, and asking follow-up questions is extremely important. Recently, I went into a group hangout with a friend I hadn’t seen in about a year. We didn’t know each other quite well but had a positive friendship, and I was excited to go into it and catch up. The group hangout ended up becoming very personal and vulnerable, as things we were sharing were quite serious and often faced with follow-up questions, as well as some rounds of the We’re Not Really Strangers card game (don’t underestimate those level 2 cards). But everything was taken with keen listening, and in the end, it felt really sweet and fulfilling. Yes, we all have times when we don’t pay as much attention to someone as we’d like to think, and may be distracted by something else (I am definitely not immune to this), but it’s often very noticeable when someone isn’t really listening. So try to, and try to build the conversation based on the things mentioned– it will lead to more resonating, lasting, appreciated conversations, that build more love between you and those people, as well as yourself for opening up.
This may sound even more obvious: saying hi to acquaintances and peers. However, as a more shy person myself, this isn’t often that easy. But, often being in a public room, knowing of some people, but not interacting with anyone, can feel pretty disheartening and awkward. So, if you see a face that you know, say hi to them. In my new workplace, I’ve been making an effort to say hi to people I’ve interacted with. It builds, again, a sense of community and belonging in any space, and can lead to more conversation and appreciation than you may expect (and potentially become majorly beneficial to you in the future). And if not, it’s just a simple, quick, hello. It’s that type of thing that we may not always want to initiate ourselves, but we always appreciate it when someone else does it to us. So, might as well just try it.
These simple acts of kindness easily spread love, to and fro, from giver to receiver. No matter how anti-social we sometimes tend to be, a sense of community, belonging, recognition, and consideration are always things we as humans seek. So, at any time, but in love month especially, try to spread even the simplest of love. As Hugh Grant said in Love Actually, “If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling that love actually is all around”.
Be Well,
Lila
