How to Deepen Your Love For Yourself
Written by Michelle Manis
This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re in a relationship, single, or…it’s complicated, be your own Valentine first and everyday. You deserve to be treated with the utmost love and care on the daily– I like to use February 14th to remind myself of this. As much as Valentine’s Day is about a romantic partner, it’s really about LOVE–for yourself, your friends, your family, and anyone you feel is worthy of your heart and time. Just like how interpersonal relationships take time, effort, care, and energy to maintain, your relationship with yourself should also be tended to and developed. Deepening your love for yourself doesn’t happen overnight, and will take some effort to explore yourself deeper with kindness every step of the way. Feel free to return to this piece for guidance whenever you feel like your self concept and self esteem needs a bit of a pick-me-up, and watch your compassion for yourself grow.
Before we dive into concrete actions you can take to deepen your love for yourself, it’s important to approach it with these attributes in mind: patience, kindness, and acceptance. If taking the time to get to know yourself further and delving deeper into exploring love for yourself is new, be patient with yourself. As you move towards taking daily actions to love yourself deeper, you’ll become more and more comfortable with showing love to yourself. But don’t feel discouraged if at first you feel hesitant, uncomfy, or doubtful in the process. Be kind to yourself as you navigate how to love yourself deeper, and accept where you’re at without judgment. It is easier said than done, but I promise it gets easier with practice and repetition. Remind yourself that working on your love for yourself is important!
Here are some basic ways you can practice deepening your love for yourself, but remember, it often varies from person to person, so feel free to pick and choose what works best for you!
Do more of what you feel the most confident in. I’m a strong believer in the notion that you’re the most beautiful when you’re doing something that you’re passionate about, what sets your soul on fire. Recognize where you shine and give yourself credit for it. The key here is to refrain from comparing yourself to others and just sit in your strengths for a minute and appreciate your skills. To take this exercise one step further, journal about how you feel when you’re at your best and reflect on what you’ve recently accomplished, and allow yourself to be proud!
Unclutter your mind! Journaling is a great way to dig deeper and learn more about your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Here’s some prompts to help you start:
List 10 things that make you smile.
What do you enjoy doing when you’re alone?
What are some things you need to hear right now?
What are some things you used to love as a child–TV shows, books, and toys–how can you nourish your inner child in the present?
When do you feel the most at peace? Do more of that!
More prompts here!
Take time to get to know yourself! Try a new workout class, pick up a new hobby, spend time alone. Take yourself on a date alone, read your favorite novel in the park, take a day trip to a new neighborhood by yourself. Having “you time” is crucial for getting to know yourself deeper and falling in love with the multifaceted you.
It can be very challenging to stop and show yourself love if you’re being pulled in so many different directions and have to give so much of yourself to others. It’s helpful to set aside time to just focus on yourself and show your mind, body, and soul the attention and care it deserves. It can be as mundane as taking a bubble bath with your favorite bath products or as expansive as meditating and doing a yoga flow.
Just by giving yourself this time exclusively for yourself and your wants and needs, you tell yourself subconsciously that you’re important and in return, deepen your love for YOU! I hope you are able to see yourself the way your loved ones see you this Valentine’s day. You are love and you are light, so treat yourself accordingly!
Be Well,
Michelle
